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Henry Loud

Henry Loud

Age:23

Nickname: Slow Polk, Can't Sprint, Rubber Legs McGee

Favorite Band: Henry couldn't decide between the overwhelming rock tsunami of Loggins and Messina and the raging thunder-punk energy of Toto so he chose testicle throttlers Steely Dan as a proper compromise.

Fun Fact About Henry: Delivered a 3 hour eulogy at George Peppard's funeral prompting Dirk Benedict, who played Templeton "Faceman" Peck, to plug uncapped tubes of Carmex into his ears and deploy them rather than "bear another minute of this insufferable drivel", according to the Carmex Commission on Moisturizing.

Henry races track because he sold all of his shifter groups to purchase a palette of Smarties. Then he took an empty Sprite can, poked holes in the side and smoked previously purchased Smarties out of the newly fabricated crack pipe. He then pulled himself up out of a pool of his own urine, kitted up, grabbed a pedicab and beat Chris Hoy head to freaking head. This is all true and incomprehensibly related in Henry's graphic bio-novel, "Cobra Force Strike Command: Vengeance Is A Go!"

Bio by Ken Klatte.