TJ Kells

TJ Wells
Age: Unknown
Nickname: The Mayor Of Truckville, Bongzilla, Drunken Old Sod
Favorite Neighborhood Liquor Store: Colonel Appomattox Sinclair's House Of Delicious Brown Liquors And Confederate Memorabilia.
Fun Fact About TJ: Consumes his food whole, like a snake. Can assume the form of a Pegasus on command, hence his inclusion on this year's team.
TJ plays in a local klezmer band called Moisha and The Tater Tots. They've just recently signed to Thrill Jockey for a shit-ton of cash. According to TJ, if their debut album goes gold, he'll "Head-butt the first police officer I see into the freakin' stone age!" When he's not busy head-butting law officers, he's furiously spinning his beautifully toned legs at the local velodrome or creating lavishly decorated cardigan sweaters for a "reformed straight edge" support group. He was also forcibly removed from the Dischord Records office in 1997 for urinating on Ian MacKaye's tape dispenser. True story.
Voted Best Hair, 2007.
Photo by Kat Jacobs.
Bio by Ken Klatte.












