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Matt Kaminecki

Matt Kaminecki

Age:17

Nickname: Tha Slumlord, Protect Ya Necki, Tippacanoe and Kaminecki Too

Least Favorite Vital Service For Renters: "Heat", because according to Matt, renters can easily generate their own by doing continuous jumping jacks in their sleep. Followed by "Door Locks" since "nobody wanna steal them fool junk anyway"

Fun Fact About Matt: Doesn't know how to weld and refuses to learn instead relying on the "black arts" to fuse his steel tubing together.

Matt Kaminecki races track and when he's not losing race after race to legless Ugandan foster children on the velodrome, he's hot-rodding snowplows in his basement for fun and very little profit. Born in Bern, Switzerland, Matt immigrated to America when he was 6 to apprentice at Baronelli's Snowplow Cobblers. 11 years and six missing fingers later, Matt has attained the "Novice" ranking in the snowplow cobbler pantheon. Matt lives in a rusty oil drum near Comiskey stadium with his lovely wife Chandra, their nine, albino, eyeless children and the world's largest collection of snowplow-related pornography. Matt someday hopes to use the revenue he makes from renting the 47 luxury apartments he owns to finance the purchase of "a nice little one room shanty on the RIGHT side of the tracks".

Photo by Kat Jacobs.
Bio by Ken Klatte.

Kaminecki races track and is a framebuilder. You can check out his stuff at www.kaminecki.com.